When most foster parents step into the journey, they do so with deep compassion, energy, and hope. But often, an early and painful realization sets in: the “community” they thought they could rely on gradually disappears. Friends grow distant. Extended family doesn’t fully understand. Support feels thin.

The result? Isolation. Depression. Burnout.

Burnout doesn’t just impact foster parents—it ripples outward. It affects the entire household, biological children, extended family and friends, and most importantly, the foster children themselves who need stability and consistency more than anything else.

Foster parent burn out at the end of the day.

The Cost of Burnout in Foster Care

The statistics are sobering: across the nation, 30–50% of foster parents quit every year. Recruiting new families isn’t usually the problem—it’s keeping them. According to research from the Annie E. Casey Foundation, more than one-third of children in foster care experience three or more placements each year. Many of those moves happen because foster homes close due to burnout.

Each disruption adds to a child’s trauma:

Trauma from neglect or abuse
Trauma from entering foster care
Trauma from every additional move

Every time a child moves, it also impacts their case and well-being—new schools, new rules, new therapists, new case teams, and important details lost in transition.

What Can Be Changed

We can’t fix every challenge in a complex system. But one thing can change: whether families are truly supported.

At Joy Meadows, our Church Network creates Care Communities—wrap-around support teams for foster families. This is how burnout can be prevented. Not everyone is called to foster, but everyone can do something.

Meals. Mentoring. Showing up at court dates or basketball games. Committing to pray. Each act matters, and together, they create stability for children who need it most.

Get Ready to Accept Help

Support systems are only effective if foster parents are willing to accept them. Avoiding burnout begins before the first placement arrives. Ask yourself:

Who will walk this journey with me?
What don’t I know that I need to learn now?
How can I connect with support services before I’m overwhelmed?
What will be the warning signs that I’m nearing burnout?
What safeguards can I put in place for my family?
Who have I given permission to call out the signs of burnout in me?

Starting the journey may only require passion and empathy. Continuing well requires humility and support.

Burnout Isn’t Inevitable

Foster parents don’t have to walk this road alone. With strong, informed, and intentional support networks, families can avoid burnout, and children can finally find what they need most: stability, healing, and a safe place to belong.

Personal Perspective

As much as we want pure love and determination to be enough, it’s just not. Otherwise 30-50% of foster homes who started with that same love wouldn’t be quitting each year. As foster parents, we have to take stock and admit to ourselves that we will need the strength of others to love and serve children from hard places well. As a foster mom to dozens of children over a decade from medically fragile preemie twins, to suicidal teens, to disassociative children, to large siblings groups, this was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

We started on the foster journey with the excitement and passion of many. We soon found ourselves alone, unable to attend church or small group, unable to attend family gatherings, shying away from social activities where the children in our care couldn’t cope or wouldn’t be accepted due to trauma behaviors. This calling from God soon turned into a stoic resolution that we had chosen this life and so we were to face it alone. We had brought this on ourselves. Rather than bringing others in, we continued on our own. Until one day I was SO desperate for peace in my home that I began reading all the passages in the New Testament where Jesus calms the stormy waters. Where was this elusive peace that Jesus could bring? We had stepped out in faith on this journey, so where was Jesus?

In Mark 6, immediately after performing a miracle feeding of five thousand, Jesus insisted the disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake. In Mark 6:45-51, “Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the Lake and Jesus was alone on land. He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves. About three o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on water. He intended to go past them, but when they saw him walking on the water they cried out in terror, thinking he was a gost. But Jesus spoke to them at once, "Don' t be afraid” he said. “Take courage! I am here!” Then he climbed into the boat and the wind immediately stopped. They were totally amazed, for they did not see the significance of the miracle of the loaves, their hearts were too hard to take it in.” There were several things from this passage that struck me in my desperation.

Jesus insisted the disciples go on the lake. He knew the struggles they would face. They didn’t face a storm because they had made a wrong choice, or misinterpreted the “will of God” - as we often mislabel our circumstances when hard things arise or we question our calling. As though the presence of the storm means that we didn’t follow the instructions of Jesus. No - the disciples followed Jesus’ directions, and a storm arose, and they were struggling hard against the wind and waves. It’s the same in my life, and was true in my foster care journey as well. Where does despair sink in because I think the storm is a surprise to Jesus on the path that He asked me to go on?
Jesus allowed the struggle. The disciples got in the boat immediately after the miraculous dinner. It wasn’t until 3 o’clock in the morning that Jesus came toward them! “He saw they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling.” Sometimes the struggle has purpose. Jesus is always there, always watching, and when we need Him..He is always walking towards us. Where is my terror unnecessary because I forget that He is watching me all the time and will come to my side at the right time and in the right way?
They cried out in fear and He responded. Jesus was going to walk past them on the water, “but they cried out in terror” (14:49) and Jesus spoke at once, “Do not be afraid! Take courage! I am here.” Their fear was so great, they couldn’t see the presence of Jesus. And even though the crying out to Jesus was in fear and not recognition of a Savior, Jesus responded anyway! He addressed their fear. He gave them courage. He got into the boat. Where am I terrified of non-existent ghosts or of troubling circumstances, when really it is Jesus doing a miracle that I’m missing? How often do I delay in crying out to Him?
Jesus got in the boat. In this narrative, it wasn’t a great display of faith shown by a disciple getting out of a boat and walking on water toward Jesus as in other similar stories in the New Testament (Matthew 14:22-34). Instead, it was inviting Jesus into the fear..it was allowing Jesus into the boat that calmed the storm. How many times do I struggle, and row, and fight, and face sheer exhaustion when all I have to do is acknowledge Jesus and let Him into the boat?! We don’t always need to walk on water..it’s not always about getting out of the boat, sometimes it’s about inviting Him in. Where is my heart too hard to acknowledge the work God is doing in the struggle so I can see the miracle and experience His peace?

This passage changed my perspective of foster care and my stoic-savior-mentality approach. I needed to call out to Jesus - whether that be in fear, faith or sheer terror of all that foster care brought to our home that was beyond my ability. I needed Him in my boat. I need Him to calm the storm. It’s not always about a solo journey on the water to step out in faith in a calling. Sometimes it’s being huddled in a group, on a boat, on a journey that God directed – and we invite Him into the storm to see the miraculous results! So as a foster parent, building a community is essential and it starts with Jesus. And beyond that - who else will you let be in your boat? Who will go on the mission with you out of sheer obedience to Jesus’ call to love the lost and least of these, the children who cannot advocate for themselves? That is building a community. That is how you avoid burnout and can stay present in children' s lives as long as they need you.

This post is part of our Foster Care 101 series, designed to provide guidance and encouragement for those considering or beginning their foster care journey.